


Son, Clone, or Twin (Get your own life, Haise)

by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory



Series: TG Prompt Collection [58]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, Gen, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8084122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory/pseuds/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory
Summary: Anon said: I have this headcanon that Arima and Haise occasionally say things or act very similarly to each other (with varying degrees of identical facial expressions) and it just throws everybody OFF when it happens, especially when they do it at the same time. XDY'all can prompt me @ purgatoryandme.tumblr.com and see answered requests under the tag "drabbles".





	

Nobody was entirely sure when it started. Haise’s integration into the CCG was a slow and arduous process during which most people focused on what he _**had been**_ instead of what he _**was**_. That might’ve been why they missed some of the finer details of his relationship with Arima.   
  
Well, it might also have been the fact that Arima never used to have relationships ( _however, no one liked the idea that Haise had been the reason why he started_ ). Either way, something was off about the two of them and people had finally begun to notice. 

* * *

Take had mentioned the first notable instance of the phenomena. He had been buying the coffee that day for everyone holed up in their offices. He dropped it off to everyone else before reaching Arima and Haise. 

Upon opening the door, Take had heard two people say ( _in the exact same tone_ ),   
  
“Your timing is 0.01s off.”  
  
As two people eyed their slightly-too-cooled coffee with ( _the exact same_ ) displeasure. A braver man than most, Take slammed the door in their faces and fled.   
  
He was later found in the training room clinging to his quinque, muttering something about ‘two Arima’s’ and how he ‘wasn’t qualified to deal with this’. 

* * *

Ui’s case was the next most famous event. He had been smoking on the rooftop, studiously ignoring Arima and Haise feeding each other behind his back ( _the fact that Arima was willing to handle **that** was…ugh_ ). Out of the corner of his eye he spotted some white sauce smearing across Arima’s mouth.  
  
Unable to resist, he mumbled,  
  
“Since you call him Daddy, I didn’t think Arima would be the one swallowing…”  
  
A thick silence followed Ui’s statement and he knew that they’d heard. He swallowed and turned ( _ever so slowly_ ) to face his doom.   
  
His gaze met with two equally quizzical expressions ( _heads tilted just so, eyes wide and unblinking, a slight frown_ ). Before either could ask what he meant, Ui silently stomped out his cigarette and walked over to the staircase.   
  
Once he was out of sight, he sprinted for dear life. Some say he was later spotted at a bar with Take, chatting about their woes, drowning their fears in alcohol ( _it would never be enough however, as everyone was soon to discover_ ).

* * *

Matsuri Washuu took one look at the matching pleading expressions before him and handed over the latest and greatest qunique ( _that he had commissioned for himself_ ) to Arima instantly. He was too young to be hallucinating. He needed to go see a psychologist.   
  
“Thank you, Matsuri-san.”  
  
Twin voices reached his ears, both completely neutral and polite, absolutely inflectionless. Matsuri froze for a moment and, against his own advice, peeked at the pair over his shoulder. They wore tiny polite smiles. Both of them tucked their hands into their pockets. They stepped forward with the same foot.   
  
He needed to make a therapist appointment. _**Pronto.**_

* * *

Some parts of Haise didn’t make much sense to the Qs. He said certain phrases that seemed quite unlike him ( _’You have two hands’ as a harsh reprimand in the kitchen when they chopped too slowly, for instance_ ). He would occasionally slip into stiff robotic body language. The way he dressed didn’t really suit him ( _he seemed more like a t-shirt and shorts person, and that’s exactly what he wore for pjs, but not as casual clothes…did Haise even own casual clothes?_ ).   
  
Then they met Arima and everything made sense. It was like looking at an older, and much more intimidating, Haise. They literally sneezed at the same time. By the way Akira grumbled about it, it seemed like that was a common occurrence.   
  
Saiko started calling Arima gramps. Though the rest didn’t have the guts to say it out loud, they all agreed. Arima had to be Haise’s father. 

* * *

“The Reaper has a son!”   
  
“The Reaper has a twin!”   
  
“THE REAPER HAS CLONED HIMSELF, EVERYBODY RUN!!!!”  
  
Rumours spread through the ghoul underground like wildfire. Helter Skelter was working overtime collecting information just to sort through it all. What was the truth? Was there really a new threat?   
  
Arima would’ve had children at like…age 12 or something, so the son thing wasn’t true. The kid with him wasn’t that old, so twin was also false.   
  
For awhile Itori wondered if the CCG had truly figured out cloning. However, she eventually saw the source of all the disturbances getting a coffee with the Reaper himself.   
  
They drank at exactly the same time. _ **Every time.**_ Every single time.   
  
While that was a creepy thing by itself, it was somewhat negated by knowing cloning hadn’t occurred. Really, she’d recognize the face of Kaneki Ken anywhere.  
  
“Such an interesting boy…”  
  
She murmured to herself ( _now planning to spread the clone rumour with all her heart…the clowns couldn’t have anyone else ruining such a good game_ ). 

* * *

“Hey Arima,”  
  
Haise said, leaning back over his recliner and lowering his book to stare at his father figure,   
  
“Does the CCG know how to clone people?”  
  
Arima lowered his book as well, looking at Haise quizzically.   
  
“I don’t believe so. Where did you hear that?”  
  
He asked, raising a single eyebrow. Haise looked away in shame and Arima frowned.  
  
“Don’t talk to ghouls.”  
  
They said at the same time ( _though Haise’s words were a mere mumble_ ). They both sighed, lifting their books again, though neither of them was really reading.   
  
Whatever would give rise to such a silly rumour, they wondered. It was completely unbelievable.   
  
( _However, within the CCG many employees began to believe the rumour, secretly agreeing with the ghouls. Many created websites dedicated to the theory, collecting evidence, providing journals, photos, anything they could collect. Ghouls contributed heavily, desperately trying to figure out the truth.)_  
  
(Perhaps in this way Kaneki Ken managed to bridge the gap between humans and ghouls after all...)


End file.
